Moony's Way of Life

Oh, you won't believe how bad I behaved yesterday. There was this pro-ana website I stumbled upon, with some 'tips' for weight loss on it, so I decided to try some of them. You know, not because I want to be überthin, just to help me on the way a little.

So yeah, I decided to take the one that says drink lots of water during meals and during the day. I did, and guess what? I got SO ill. I don't know what happened, at first I felt great, but in the evening, around about ten pm, I suddenly started getting dizzy. And very very nauseous. I went to bed immediately and when I woke up I still felt a bit queasy. So now I'm taking it easy with all foods for a while and drinking only a moderate amount of water. Ick...

Let this be a warning! Never do anything that is remotely connected to pro-ana. *sigh*

Hello again!

The weather is super hot today, as it has been for a week now. But look at my ticker! Harharhar, another kilo, yes sir! And I'm not even trying that hard. I figured it's easier to sin once in a while and stick to it then crush on some diet, lose a lot of weight and gain the double in the week after.

My parents are coming home today, if everything goes as planned. They've had a week-long holiday walking in the south of France, the lucky little pumpkins. I'm glad they're coming back. The new-found freedom was only fun for ten minutes, after which I found out my brother wasn't going to try and chip in at all. We got a budget of 80 Euro's for an entire week, and he spent at least half of it by himself, can you believe?! My mom told me before she left that she expected it to be more than enough, so I needn't worry. Think again, with mister big spender. He even bought yummy sandwiches for lunch in town and got drinks with his mates and everything, while I was cooking spaghetti for dinner to try to stick to the budget. And he didn't even try to tell me beforehand either. Gah...
So yes, he's been a total... no, I told myself I wasn't going to swear anymore... Either way, if my parents ever want to go away again they have my blessing, but I am not babysitting for that little boy in a man's body anymore. They can forget it. He's only one year and ten months younger than me, so the 'but he's still a little boy' doesn't work either.

Anyway, I bought a nice scarf for my mother for mothersday tomorrow. She'll hopefully love it. It's off-white, with a golden thread weaving through it. She said she wanted a scarf like that but she wasn't sure about buying it, because of the mutton dressed like lamb sort of thing. I think she'll look great though. I also got the downstairs pc tickled up for her so she can play her new The Sims 2 instalments and have them in nice detailed smoothly running graphics too. I think she'll be over the moon. :)

I have been listening to the nice summery cd of Sara Bareilles lately. It's perfect for the hot weather and the overall atmosphere.
A little clip of hers for your enjoyment:




Until the next update,
Sayonara~

Hello everyone!
As you all can see I have lost some more weight. I'm ecstatic! It might not be going superfast, but look at the progress I've made so far. I'm really pleased with myself, but that doesn't mean I will slack off. Oh no!
This evening I am going for a run, before dinner. So when I come home all shakey and empty I don't have to crash on something sugary or fatty, but I can eat my dinner instead. That plan has been working great so far.
Also, I've bought some new clothes today. A waistcoat and a skirt. As soon as I get my hands on a camera I'll post some pics.

Last week has been weird. For some reason (three guesses?) I've been low on energy. I try to be geinki and upbeat, or as the french put it "une fille qui a toujours la forme!", but I'm soooo terribly tired. I even forgot to finish homework for last friday! I'll have to apologise to my professor next class and hand it in then. I can't believe I totally forgot.
A friend of mine has also offered to cut my hair, so she could practice a bit. She wants to be an amateur hairdresser, next to her studies. I accepted. To be honest, I shouldn't have. Everyone is being nice about it, but I know it is the suck. My mom is the only one who's been brutally honest, but then she always is, so... It's waaay to short on the bangs and she thinned out my layers too badly. At this rate it will take AGES for my hair to grow as long as I want it, damn it!

Anyways, I'd better go for a run now. I'm seeing my boyfriend tomorrow so I'm super motivated! Yay!

Yes, I am still trying to lose some weight. Really hard. It's not going as well as I would like... I've asked my doctor for some advice and she gave me some pills (weirdly), which I now take off and on. I so want to be able to fit in my bikini this summer, dammit!
So... I know I know I've been horrible at updating. I've been playing Flyff, which is a super game, with my boyfriend, and studying, because yes! Ladies and Gentlemen, June - exam month - is approaching.

No wonder I am fat...

Right, so I decided it's about time I do something about my weight. I found something really cute to help me along with it too!
Look at this:





So, now you can all track my status, isn't that neat?
I'll be giving you all an update soon!

Ciao darlings~

Yuy! Today I got to go to the hairdressers! I really love going for a haircut. Not only because it leaves my hair silky-smooth and in perfect shape, but also for the surprise effect it always has. I wear pretty strong glasses, and I usually have to take them off during the cutting and washing so they don't get in the way. I do have contacts - but seriously, anyone who owns contacts can second this, it's too much of a fuss. The hair gets in your eyes, or the blow-dryer hardens them, or the spray gets caught on them... It's always something! (Same with lip gloss by the way. NEVER wear lip gloss to the hairdressers. You can apply make-up before leaving, but no gloss! You'll thank me after. If you must, put it in your bag and apply a layer right before leaving. Otherwise it can lead to icky hair stickiness. Ugh.)

Another good reason for wearing your glasses to get your hair cut is so you can see what it looks like after you put on your glasses. Is the fringe too long? Too short? Are there strands that get caught and you might want to get cut short to avoid superhuman pain? And, like I said, the surprise effect is so good. Just take off your glasses, relax with a nice cup of whatever drink you prefer (I alternate between water and a mocca) and sit back. When they're done, put on your glasses and marvel at the fabulous new you! For this you should always go to the same trusted hairdresser. Don't do this when you never went to that particular salon before - you never know what might happen.

Other than that, lots of things happened lately. My fab boyfriend pulled a muscle in his chest while carrying our tiny christmas tree. He's only able to breathe shallowly for now. He went to see a GP earlier but they just gave him some drugs to help him ride it out. We decorated said tree today as well. It looks so pretty! Not up to fashionista standards, bien sur, but you have to start somewhere, right?

I had a bit of a bad spell last week myself. Nothing serious I think. First I had a minor nervous breakdown - as is expected from a girl in my position. Perfect grades seem great until you're right before exam-time. Horror! And then my insides started freaking out. Lord knows why. My parents think it's stress. I think they're wrong. This isn't stress. Ok, so I'm a little tiny bit nervous, but I can still handle this. I'm a student for crying out loud! Anyway I refused to go see a doctor. I'm not blowing 20 Euros on some woman telling me what I already know, thank you. I just lied down and drank enough water to cleanse the system, and waited for it to pass.

I also got two great books. One I bought myself and one my mom gave me as a present. I don't know why she gave it to me, but I'm not too worried about that. It's her birthday soon - maybe that's part of it? Anyway, they're called "The Goddess Guide" and "A Girls Guide To Everything".  Very good books for young women trying to struggle on in this cruel cold world. Har har har. But seriously, I recommend them. Really worth the buy.

I got new glasses some time last week as well. My old ones were 9 years of age and they passed away on a study trip to Amsterdam. Which royally sucked, by the way. Amsterdam is a great city, but the exhibition we were forced to visit 3 (!) times was a bit drab. Too high up for me, I suppose. I don't support this kind of thing. And they get money for it from the government as well! Gah!

I think this is it for now. I'm not posting up on the Plan for a while, I think . Need time to study.

Ciao babes~

Hasn't it been long since I last updated this? Yes it has! Bad, bad moondroplet!
But life has had so many weird twists and turns for me. I'll tell you all about it.
After exams, I went to a family party of my boyfriend - let's call him Karhi. It was the first time I met them, since I live in Belgium and they are all in England. Needless to say, I was very very nervous. But it all turned out all right. Yay! They didn't seem to mind my usual weird self at all.
When we returned my results were waiting for me. In my previous post I had exams, right? Well, those results are what I'm talking about. I didn't do too bad - considering my past... *shudders* I failed two out of six. So now, I'm re-taking those two courses (English Grammar 1 and Introduction to the Western Philosophy) but I'm taking all other courses in second year. All except English Grammar 2, obviously. But - and this is where the good news kicks in - if I pass everything this year I can go to third year without any worries! Wouldn't that be awesome? YES IT WOULD!
Anyhow, I started school again on the 24th of september, not having had any real time off at all. Very tiring indeed. But I manage. Exams start January 4th, so it's time to start cramming again soon. I feel moderately confident at this point though, I like my subjects and I understand everything that is being said in class.
I also started running on a regular basis. I know everyone says it, but it's true. It sharpens your mind a lot. And it brings a certain rythm to your life, which I desperately needed. Another good point is that I'm starting to look fitter - my body is getting more shapely and my mood is a lot better.

Don't worry, I haven't given up on MAFP yet. As a matter of fact:
Here are my accomplishments of today (so far):
I went to town yesterday and bought some new clothes, taking care to only pick those shapes and colours that are both fashionable AND good on me. It doesn't matter if it's fashion - if you look like a corpse with a dirty rag around you, do not buy!
I went running again today. It felt good. I'm up to lesson 12 already! Yuy! And I can run 5 minutes in one go. It's fun too, so... why not, eh?
I also took good care of my skin, hair, lips and nails again today. With the weather turning colder, those need extra care and moisturising.
I am in my second week of Preparing for exams. The last day of the second week, that is. One more of those to go and I can start the "Learning" phase. Today, I tackled English as a Germanic Language. Very interesting stuff about how English differs from German, and why.
I discovered this fun new online sim game. It's called Human Age. This is the link for it. If you want to start playing it, please make sure to tell them I referred you. My in-game name is Kikuru. This way, you help me in the game as well! You can always contact me for help - I'll do all I can, I promise.
Karhi is coming over for dinner tonight. Double yes! I spent the night at his last thursday, it was so comfy and romantic - but I had a little bit of difficulty getting to sleep by myself again on friday. Buh!
I found this irresistible shop in town. They'd only just opened. So many cute clothes and things! I swear, I thought I was in heaven. The shop is called Urban Outfitters, or something like that, and they're originally from the uk. Check them out!

My Goals:

These are my personal goals to be perfect. I will colour-code them so I can keep track of things I do to get closer to them every day.

A perfect girl should be:

Fashionable -
This involves everything to do with clothing, hair, make-up, and staying up to date about the latest of the latest. Not only for the looks, but to keep up with conversation and trends absolutely affects your social life.

Beautiful-
Skin-care, health, diet, weight, sports, welness... It all fits in here. This category is for things that enhance natural beauty.

Intelligent-
Beauty without intelligence results in Bimbo. Far from perfection. This vital category is for my academic goals, as well as any other ways I wish to develop my brain.

Creative-
Creativity has always more or less been linked to femininity. Here belong those things I do to keep the part of my brain alive that enhances creativity. This includes throwing perfect parties, writing, drawing...

Fun-
A perfect girl is never boring and can always make people feel at ease. Of course, this also involves things I do for fun in my free time. They have to be fashionable, of course.

Loved-
The perfect boyfriend, and being the perfect girlfriend - that's what this is about. I think this category is pretty clear.

Friendly-
Both in the litteral and non-litteral sence. This includes being a good friend, supporting the friends I have and gaining good reliable friends through life, as well as being nice in general. This may also involve being a good daughter/sister, although I think those are rather subjective on the parent/sibling and may never be achieved.

Cute-
I am a girl, and girls are cute. Perfect girls don't swear like a heretic, don't show off their strength, and are fluffy and adorable. Major points I should work on...

Today was not like yesterday, and different than tomorrow. Today was the day of an epiphany. I hope someone reads this, but I know the chances are slim. I feel like I have to make notes somewhere, though, and I know I will need support. Hopefully this is the right way.

Let me first tell you what happened - assuming I get any readers at all. In the past I was one of the masses. I was grey, slowly evolving to black even. With grey I mean I had little success in my life, but also little failure. I had nothing, or close to. Luckily enough some good things came to me without me asking for them, working for them. I guess that's how life goes - sometimes you're lucky. But I was degrading. Failure after failure piled itself on the pages I call 'my life'. I had moodswings, cravings, I was fickle and unreliable. I wanted to change, wished for things to be different, but it just didn't happen. And you know why? Because I didn't MAKE them happen. I was a loser.

Today, however, this changed. I have exams soon. My usual attitude towards exams is: start binging and run away from reality. Anything would do. Mmorpg's, stories, fashion... you name it, I was on it like a bloodhound on game. I knew tons of stuff about everything but my exam material - because I couldn't face the stress of my books. Hence, I am doubling my first year at uni, god knows how I got here, and resitting 6 of my exams. Not a small number. Then, I came across this story on the net. The story about a complete loser, and how he claimed to have found a miracle that can get your life on track. All you had to do was order those and those pills for only so much money.  Sounds to me like Loser-Boy wanted to make some big cash by 'reaching out' to others. Disgusting.

But it changed me. Something in me snapped. I realised I had so much potential. So much to go for. And here I was blowing it all to pieces. Reading articles on how to better myself without really wanting to do so. Well, let me tell you, I had enough of it. No more Loser-Girl, time for Go-Getter-Bitch to come in action. 

So I decided to write this all down. My journey to perfection. It's partly for me, partly for whoever stumbles across and finds they need the same dose of reality.